I put one foot upon the scales
and left the other on the floor,
It was lovely seeing 4 stone 3
before I knew my weight for sure
now, slowly does it, raise the leg
put both feet where they should be
and open your eyes it always helps
otherwise you can’t see, you see?
now look at the dial, take a deep breath
it’s not a matter of life and death,
it’s only a total for goodness sake
OOOh..you’ve lost a few pounds?..where’s that cake?