Cold-Call Deterrent?…..


antique telephone 

   “Hello”   I said sweetly,  in answer to the ringing ‘phone
          a caller, breathing deeply, growled  “Are you quite
        I replied, with a glance at the gun and body on the floor,
          “Yes I am, come on over, there’s room for one more.” 

LadyP © 2011   


68 responses to “Cold-Call Deterrent?…..

  1. Well that was direct and straight to the point , could be the beginning of a story or the middle of a story leading to an interesting finale.
    Liked it.


    • Hi there Ian, ’twas a short and sharp answer to the many cold callers who disturb our free time… Sometimes I’m quick off the mark and just say ‘no thanks’ and slam the phone down, but when I’m caught and don’t want to be rude…the outcome could be …um. ….deadly!! 😉


  2. Absolute classic Pen — loved it !!


  3. re: “Room for one more” and “The morgue”. It wasn’t the morgue, you know, in the end. It was “Flight 22” and because of the dream the woman did NOT board the plane.
    Which crashed.–twenty-two


  4. Love this, Pen. I didn’t know you could do mystery, too! The link is a riot — it’s really not recommended to answer the door at all!!


    • Hi Monica, I was just round at your ‘place’ looking at your great photo’s of Yellowstone again,
      and I often wonder if anyone notices the links I put in,..(sobs!!)
      😉 Glad you enjoyed both the poem, dark and deadly and the link too.


  5. Cold callers, what’s wrong with them, don’t their radiators work?
    Thoroughly enjoyed this dark four liner


  6. I loved this. I would love to look on your caller’s face when he opened the door.


  7. Hi Pen! 🙂

    I’m with Npower because they give me £100 per year as I’m on Direct Debit – bribery works every time!!! LoL!!!

    Also DD is cheaper than quarterly bills, but I had to do some serious saving so I could afford it as I needed a margin against unexpectedly large bills!!!

    Hugh literally knows nothing about anything and hits the phone rather than think, expecting me to have all the answers.

    When he started using email he messed up Outlook Express on a weekly basis and every time he screwed up he’d phone me, but not tell me what he’d done, so I had to guess and figure out how to fix it while he would do the total opposite of what I’d told him to do and then complain when it didn’t work…

    Needless to say I had a few headaches and after he screwed up time and again while looking at porn I had to fix his computer for him!

    The last time he screwed up I was unable to sort out his antivirus because he’d sold the master disk in a trip to the pub…

    In the end I had to do a complete re-install.

    On completing the basic installation I told him he could use it to do his email, but nothing else as the antivirus hadn’t been installed.

    When I came back the following day to complete the job I swept his PC and found six Trojans installed on his HDD…

    These days I send him to his local expert because if I don’t he gets a problem, makes no attempt to fix it and phones me expecting me to have all the answers while he doesn’t tell me what’s wrong…

    Yes, I was surprised we won against the Conservatives – usually they listen to no-one as a rule – but apparently they’ll be trying again in the future when they think nobody is looking…

    Bloody Politicians…

    Here’s hoping you win and win big my friend – I’ll be getting my ticket on Monday because I’m nocturnal again…

    Love and squishy hugs!



    • Hi Sir Prenin,
      I didn’t win either, but I keep trying. NO pain no gain as they say!! (or is that just exercising ?) … I think were too vocal for the Conservatives to be successful this time, but we have to be vigilant, they’re a sneaky bunch of individuals…and will just sweep this under the carpet and try later…xx


      • I agree – sneaky, devious and determined to have their own way!!!

        Here’s hoping you win sweety – The lottery is less of a gamble and more an act of Desperation!!!

        Love and hugs!



        • desperate times, desperate measures, Sir Prenin, …do we feel lucky?… of course we do, about the Nation Forests and about the National Lottery … .there’s no other way to feel… now is there my friend…xx


  8. Ring… Good one …. Pen! 😉
    love it,
    All the Best,


  9. I have visited you writings and photos a few times. This one is very good one.
    happy weekend!


  10. Crikey, you do get some responses on your blogs Pen, you are well popular as the youngsters would say. LOL isn’t Bess lucky to have such a talented Mum Hugs to her. XX


    • HI Arlene, I keep getting answers to my calls… 😉
      Bess is bored ‘cos it’s raining outside… so she’s not well pleased at the mo’ and as you know she’s sold my PC chair, now she’s advertising my PC…(it’s so old she won’t get any responses tho’!) xx


  11. You’ve been talking to my EX haven’t you???? 🙂


  12. Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo,
    I Guess That YOU Hate Those Cold
    Calling Morons Too… lol

    Androgoth XXx


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