Alarm & Bess…


Alarm Clock


watch the dial,
eyes on the time
I don’t know why
I wait for the chime,
to say its time to get out of bed
I wake first, as the alarm seems in my head…

LadyP © 2011


This past week has been very, very painful to live through, on finding out from the vets that Bess’s blood test on Tuesday showed that she has possible Kidney failure. They took her off her usual painkillers (as they were not recommended to be taken with this disease) but they did not think to replace them with any other meds. So from Tuesday ‘til Friday she was steadily going downhill by losing her ability to walk at all with her Osteoarthritis. I rang the vets and got an appointment on Friday to talk over the results and to find out why she couldn’t have any pain relief. They suggested Steroids but needed to check with the manufacturers to make sure they were ok to be taken with Bess’s problems.

This was Friday, and on Saturday morning Bess’s left front leg could not be moved without causing her instant pain.   We called the vet as soon as the surgery opened on Saturday morning, 9 0’clock, and had to wait for her to have a free slot to talk to us. My ex is a rock at the moment and he answered the phone when she finally rang at 11 o’clock, giving the ok , and ex went to fetch the pain killers. She’s been on them since Saturday morning and enough to say that this morning she was playing ball and staggering around barking at me tidying the garden.  My girl is no longer in pain, and although I know the road ahead is not going to be smooth,  until she has no quality of life left we will work through every pitfall.

I must admit that on Saturday morning I sat with her in my arms, watching as she was a tight ball of pain, and crying my eyes out as I was so helpless to do anything, waiting and praying for the vet to ring us with news about the Steroids, and both my ex and myself were wondering about asking for the final Injection,  to ease her suffering.  I have an almost hatred of Vets at the moment, at their seeming uncaring, unthinking attitude. We pay for a high degree of care, and Bess’s records show she needs pain killers, so why was she left without them for so long, and why was it left to us to ask for them?

We have another appointment tomorrow,  and we have to take a Urine sample with us, ( games ahead trying to catch her at it!!)  but hopefully the sample will show good results.  My fingers are crossed so , so tightly…

Which is why I thought I’d better let you know why I haven’t updated, and also why I haven’t been able to answer comments and visit anyone’s blogs.

I‘m lucky in that I can work from home, and my ex will help too. I would ask that you please pray for my girl, and may I thank you in advance for reading this, as I know I’m wittering on, but it has been almost a cathartic way of getting rid of the pain and feeling of helplessness inside.


LadyP… 2011


38 responses to “Alarm & Bess…

  1. This is a very difficult time for you, I know.
    Our animal companions are the only unconditional love we experience on this earth and we treasure them all the more for this—and suffer with them when they are in pain and dread losing them. I pray that your Bess may be able to remain with you for many years to come. But, know this, even though the body dies doesn’t mean our friends are gone.

    And, on a cheerier (I hope) note:

    I have gathered up the pages of my story (adventure serial) that I am currently writing in my blog and put them in consecutive order. Anything NOT part of the story will now appear on my “Guestbook and Comments” page (thanks for the idea, BTW).

    The fun, then, begings here:


  2. Don’t know how to pray, but I’ll purr for Bess and you … ever so tender woofs as well … Love, cat.


  3. Me again, and looking through all [or nearly] all of the POSITIVE messages, you must be feeling better knowing so many of your friends are praying for her return to health. Keep your spirits up Love and hugs Arlene XX


  4. :*(
    I’m so, so sorry Pen! 😦
    I’ll offer up a prayer for her. I’m sure her angel is with her all the time. Poor little baby…

    Please let us know how she is!!


  5. Oh Pen, this made me so sad to read. I’m so sorry to hear about Bess’s condition!! She’s such a gorgeous girl! I can only imagine what it must feel like for you to see your baby go through such pain and feeling so helpless to ease it. I know how it felt when my pups went through their operation and to see them so lifeless and in pain afterwards was absolutely heartbreaking! Oh dear… this has me tearing!
    Have no doubt, I will be here praying for her health and hoping that things get better for her (and you) over there. So much love and good vibes being sent your way right now so keep your chin up lady! XO


  6. witter on all you like my friend, its what blogs are for. my heart goes out to you at this time. have been where you are now and no exactly what your feeling. your on a roller coaster ride. but try to take it only 1 day at a time. keep your spirits up my friend. sending you big hugs and lots of love.
    love summer


  7. Bess is in my prayers. Good luck.


  8. Dear Pen, We are worried and afraid. You and Bess have so many good wishes heading your way, and there is much wisdom in the comments from dog lovers. The road will not be easy, and you knew the end when you began. Be brave, my Pen. We want to carry some of the load.


  9. hey pen!!! i awarded you something…check my blog in an hour or so!


  10. Thinking of you… Hugs xxx


  11. I saw from your latest post that Bess is improving, Pen 🙂


    • That’s right bb, she’s been put on steroids to help with the pain, but apparently they have terrible side effects, and two weeks off and two weeks on is the rule. so I’m dreading the first no steroid week. Just one day at a time methinks. xx


  12. You are a dear and precious friend and I am so sorry that I was so concerned with my own path and my pet that I failed you and Bess by not being here to help share the pain. I do now and I am coming to this blog first and will make my way to the latest.

    We all of us with pets understand that exquisite pain when our beloved fur baby family member is sick to the point of being helpless. Our helplessness to make it better is one of the worst feelings in the world.

    My arms are around the both of you. Yes, it’s in my heart but it is just as real as though I were standing there with the two of you.

    Much love.


    • Thank you so much Carole, for your words and your thoughts, and your hugs too. It was a very traumatic time, tears all the way as I didn’t know which way to turn. The vet was no help, and all the information we’ve gathered has been from the internet and people and friends, and the local pet shop… Seems strange to me that the very people you pay for treatment and service don’t really care, or seem not to. Bess was in pain for so long, and last Saturday was the most traumatic time I’ve ever been through, sitting there with her a ball of pain, and not being able to do a damn thing. Waiting for the stupid vet to get info on the steroids (two days she had to get this knowledge) and finally give us the all clear to go and fetch them and then give Bess pain relief. .. not right, and not humane at all… But this Saturday she was outside playing and barking, almost back to her old self.
      what a difference a few days make. hugs to you my friend, and for Miss Catt. from me and Bess. x


  13. Oh I am so sorry to hear she was under so much pain. Glad to know that she is better now. I can understand how devastated you must have been to see her like that. Thankfully she is fine.


  14. Hi Pen – like your other friends, I am so thrilled to see that your beautiful Bess is improving. My heart goes out to you my friend as I know how dear Bess is to you.

    This post had tears rolling down my face – how can we comfort our pets when they are in so much pain? So glad the vets finally got their act together – what were they thinking?

    Chloe xx


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