Tag Archives: Life

Change, for changes sake?


I suppose it’s the New Year, maybe a need for a change or just a need within myself. I keep trying to change my site header, background, anything to make a difference. Anything, other than change the Theme, for Coraline it is, and Coraline it will stay. I cannot let go of the layout.  It ‘fits’  In such a way my life ‘fits’. I had a big decision last year but one,  (well,  it’s just I have this thing about years, I hate them passing so I backdate-without-numbers type of thing) and I am living by it. I nearly left my safe life to start a new one.  The House was up for sale and I was on cloud nine, going to start a life on my own.  In love with change, a difference from the day-to-day grind I decided I was living.  My holding pin was gone, My Bess, she left me and I broke. Into pieces. Strange to write that, not my partner but my dog, who was my friend and my heart.  Not a nice thing to write really, another human being was hurting too and I added to his pain.  We didn’t fit any more but there was a friendship and closeness which counts for a heck of a lot and I tried to be cold, heartless,  selfish, in order to break away. Totally unlike me. Enough to say I came to my senses, the house was taken off the market, Bess was still gone, but there was a firm foundation not sand beneath my feet.
Life goes on as it always will ‘til our last breath, it’s up to us to make sure it’s a life well lived and loved, if only in friendship, for love seems so fragile to me.
I don’t Blog about myself often, but I just spent a day trying to change my blog settings, and ended up just changing the background and header, small payment for a large headache, but I’m happy. (and grumpy, sneezy etc….) most of the time.


Self Preservation…

I am a coward, I know it,
words will not come,
they stick in my throat
as a barb sticks to a thumb.
Painful it be, as silence doth reign
yet if words ventured forth,
what be the gain?
I am a coward,
I know it,
and after a time,
acceptance seems normal,
the burden purely mine.

You Know…

SAM_0110 You know how it is 
the World closes in
you can’t explain
or even begin
to describe
the feeling,
so why
Nothing is said
as the days flit by.
‘Til suddenly     
a jigsaw moment
perfect fit, perfect space.
You know how it is?

Talk about long absences,…. this one was unexpected to say the least. It’s good to be back and I shall enjoy catching up with one and all as soon as possible. xxx

Journeys & Answers…

PenpusherpenI didn’t know I was going
to discover a truth
from the depths of the past
in a trip to my youth
visiting my birthplace
seeing with new eyes
where I played
where I grew
a childhood constrained by lies.
It seems we are coloured
by those early years,
I wonder,
can a life painting
be changed
by countless
number of tears?
’Tis alright saying
we plough our own path
but “Who am I really?”
  me laugh…

Apologies fellow bloggers for my absence,  ‘twas an unexpected trip back to my hometown to sort out family business.  Strange how BIG things from the past seem so much smaller viewed through older/grown up eyes.  Strange too how the ‘large’ walls of the neighbours garden have shrunk and everything appeared so different.   I need to travel back again, this time for a longer stay so I shall see you all and catch up when I can.  I hope WordPress is finally sorting itself out, though I did take a trip over to Sir Aquatom’s Blog and it appears my hopes are in vain.  Sigh!! xx


shining dove with rays on a dark It appears
I’m climbing a mountain,
my whole life a spur to the top.
At the moment it feels slow going
I’m afraid to slowdown and stop.
Looking back I see many detours,
mistaken when faith grew weak.
When the way seemed easier,
or so I thought, until the
trail led me back to seek,
the true path to the crown
to the summit, where every
breath is now thin and frail.
Reaching the pinnacle of life’s
desire,  to achieve flight, not to
plummet and thereby fail.